When I Think About Christmas

As a writer, when I think about Christmas, I remember my family. Although we were dysfunctional, when we shared Christmas with our grandparents, we had special times, at least on that day. Times of attending church, singing in the choir, making homemade, home baked items. I baked the cakes, cookies and dinner. Grandma baked the pies. Our mother worked at a hospital, so her holiday was spent servicing patients.

I think back to the Holiday of Christmas when I was in high school and a few years aferward. During my senior year of high school, I was passionately in love, engaged to be married to a great guy. Traveling to New Hampshire with my fiance and his dad, my mother and another one of my sisters, I had stars in my eyes, and first love beating inside my heart. The weather was cold when we arrived and I prayed for snow. I got my wish. On Christmas Eve, I was blessed to build a snow man, and to meet my fiance's family. His mother and I had spoken on the phone many times, written letters, and I shared my heart with her. She was truly the mother I always dreamed of having, but as we know we cannot pick our birth mother, can we? Meeting his family I was mesmerized at how warm and affectionate they were and how welcoming they opened their arms to me. I felt so blessed. Ah, that first love!

In January of that year, things changed when my fiance and I broke up. Now, years later, I am thankful I found the strength to survive that heart break. Till this day, Mrs. Brousseau and I are still friends and we converse, sometimes at Christmas, and at other times during the year. She is a woman of substance and she has been such an influence in my life -- all of my adult life. She understands me. We laugh and chat about many things, just like two close girlfriends. I don't know exactly what caused us to bond, but she has been a major role model for me. Hard working, determined, with a heart as big as the sky, full of love for her children, I feel so blessed to know her.

Another influential Holiday season was the Thanksgiving I stood at the airport, watching my husband boarding a jet to Vietnam. I kept questioning how the government to send someone to a warzone on a holiday. That Christmas I was miserable. We did not have e-mail, cell phones, or long distance service in the jungles of Vietnam. It took ten days for a letter to get to him, and ten days for me to get a reply. It was the loneliest Christmas I've ever known. Only married three months at the time, I've never forgotten how lost and alone I was. Maybe that has been a special gift for us, because during the difficult times of marriage, I've never forgotten that Christmas.

Flash forward to many Christmas holiday seasons. Still married to that soldier (Phil) we do our best to make the holidays special. Tonight, since it is Christmas Eve, I'm starting a new tradition for us. When we open our gifts, we are sitting by the tree, a cold glass of champagne is chilling and while we open gifts, we will toast our love, our life, and our special times.

Many of our traditions have changed over the years, and now, I am hopeful to build new ones, especially since our son is married now, building a life with his wife and our special grandson.

What are your traditions? Merry Christmas